THE DAY THAT THE OVEN DIDN'T COME AND I OBTAINED A NEW 'CONDITION'

First we received the automatic TEXT yesterday evening, then we received the automatic VOICE MAIL both confirming that all was sweet with the world and our new cooker would be delivered any time between 7am and 11am the next day (today). So having worked ALL weekend with Alison to get the kitchen floor fully tiled and grouted (just a handful left to do) we were well chuffed that we had finished in time to take delivery of our new cooker. Up with the Lark (well the same time as Alison at 6am) I swept and moped the floor tiles where our new cooker was to be lovingly placed. Then I got on with some odd jobs, just to keep me going you know as they will probably be here soon. Well of course they weren't, noooo, why do I keep getting sucked into this foolish belief that in England when a company says that they will deliver an item on such a date they actually mean... They won't!  I think it is a tradition, Morris men outside the Pub, Maypole dancing in May, Carol singing in December, MP's saying they will not resign then resigning the next day, for that matter MP's (Labour first time then the Libs. this time) promising that they will not introduce/increase (respectively) University fees and Companies delivering goods when they ask you to set aside the day to receive them!            So I really should not have been surprised when the call came at 9am to say that my cooker would not be delivered today because "it was not put on the lorry". Well I could see that would certainly make it more of a challenge, but not the best excuse eh? I am more used to "It got scratched and we had to send it back", or "The lorry broke down" or one of my favourites "It's in Prestatyn in Denbighshire" then just in case I'd need further clarification............. "North Wales".
                 But wait. Did I not get a Text and a Voice Mail telling me to get ready for this exciting new arrival? Yes,   yes I did. So why was the delivery confirmed , I asked? "Oh, that was an automated confirmation it just goes out automatically" came the reply.   "Well," I complained, "It isn't really confirming anything is it!?" She replied in the affirmative and said that she could see my point and then we rearranged for a re-match tomorrow and I had to do the same with the electrician whom I had made a date to wire the thing in.
                Now call me Mr Negative but what's the betting that it will turn up and then invoke that old tradition of having one tiny, but significant part, missing?  I wonder..... 

                As a result of this lapse and suffering a lot of pain in my leg and hand last night I made a resolution to call the Doctors and see if I could get an emergency appointment. This they kindly did for me and I was at the Surgery by 10am. My leg is worse now than just before my operation and the Doctor gave me some 'happy tablets' (well very strong pain killers so they make me happy). Now my hand has been becoming more of an issue over several years and last night was a bad one with several finger going completely numb. I get it in both hands but the right is the worst and even as I drove to the Doctors the fingers went completely numb. It is a real problem when I am trying to take a photo or pick my nose, I just can't feel a thing eeewwww!
               Apparently my symptoms are an exact fit for something called Carpal tunnel Syndrome and having checked it out on, yes you've guessed it, Google :-

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Carpal-tunnel-syndrome/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

I can honestly say that line for line the web site describes my symptoms to a 'T'.
So now I have a new condition to add to my varied health issues. In 2003 I wrote a poem about my health issues and so I have now to update it with the last 7 years worth. I hope I have remembered everything!

SHOP SOILED

I was born with two good eyes,
But after a car crash they did demise.
My best eye has two blind spots I now notice,
Whilst my other eye is poor of focus.


My legs have problems of their own,
Knees with torn ligaments unable to be sewn,
My rheumatic pains that frequently vary,
A current remission I’m sure is just temporary.

Further down my feet are just as poor,
With an inflamed arch that hurts some more.
A chipped bone & two ankles that ‘CLICK’
Makes me wonder why this body I did pick!


My hands played host to a persistent mole,
Who popped up from nowhere & was as black as coal,
Blood tests show my Platelet count is quite, quite low,
In theory this means my blood will flow and flow!


My Head is even worse I fear,
As my Jaw dislocates from ear to ear!
With hearing getting worse and causing more grief,

and from a car crash at least three broken teeth.

When the Eye Doctor saw my blind spots he got all excited,

he brought in his colleagues who had a look and were all delighted.

And when My GP diagnosed that I had Foot & Mouth disease,

He asked if I'd mind if the rest of the Surgery could see it please?


My whole arm aches from the shoulder to the wrist,
so I've been to the Doctor to check the risk.
He says don't worry, it's not serious so don't get in a muddle
You now own a Syndrome, you've got Carpal Tunnel!

I've knee bones so thin that whenever I kneel I really suffer,

and with my torn cartilage now I'm even walking like an old Buffer.

A wonky nose and an eczema-tic frown,
If I were a Dog you’d have put me down!

So how do you keep going? I hear you ask,

Well you have to keep smiling and get on with the task.

But the main reason I can work through this silly curse,

is because I know that there is someone, somewhere far worse!

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