We moved in 5 weeks ago, Alison, Myself and Scribble the cat along with what must have been about 100 large Pickford boxes packed full with our life. One of my Big intentions when we decided to up roots and make such a massive change was to clear out all the accumulated 'STUFF' that we had collected over the years. We had already made a start by kicking the kids off to their University towns, although, sadly, their 'STUFF' in the main didn't attach itself to them and I am now phoning around storage companies to find out how much the standard rate is for looking after other peoples 'STUFF'.
But, in truth, I guess the Kids were not the object of my intention, no what I dreamed off was a cleansing of the soul, a purge of collected memorabilia. I envisaged a new life with some level of minimalistic uncluttered living which meant that I did not need to hang on to hundreds of nick-knacks from the past, keep a few of the really important things of course but not this book or that puzzle which I never ever will read or try to solve again because uncle so and so gave it to me Christmas 1988 and I feel bad losing it. We have a lot of that sort of 'STUFF'.
You see I am, by nature, a hoarder, I like to think that I'm not but my collection of all the old theatre and concert tickets going right back to Meat Loaf and The Tourists in the 70's or the 200 old National Geographic magazines that I won't possibly be able to re-read are testament to this problem. If there was an AA for hoarders, which I supposed would be called HA! then I would be standing up there...
"Hello everyone, well, errr, My name's Mike and, and, errr, well I guess I have a problem..... I have a serious.... Hoarding problem......
But I've checked the Yellow Pages and not a HA in Norfolk, or the UK, or surprisingly enough not even in the United States although they do have the HAA (Hispanics Across America) which appears to be a far more noble association as its central mission is the goal of improving the quality of life in Hispanic communities. Where as my HA central mission is to simply just throw 'STUFF' away. This is not half as noble but we have made a small start by giving quite a bit to a charity shop that my Father-in-law set up within Rotary and so it begins. I reckon I got the bug when I was very young. I can remember that when I moved out of my parents house I found in my belongings a small matchbox and when I slid the little drawer out inside there were about six tiny, very grubby 'first teeth', and some even still had the dried blood on them! Disgusting I know and I was sure the tooth fairy came to our house but you see I was probably saving them as an investment, sixpence then would be worth a pound now. That is it, that's the rub you see, I hoard just in case. Just in case that Vinyl Album is worth something in the future, well they are now. The Betamax Video cassette recorder I have in the attic (£36 for similar on ebay but hurry only 1 Day 12 hours and 41 minutes before you'll miss the chance to own one too). An old bit of wood? Why that might come in handy as a batten to hold a shelf up and I'm not alone take my friends that keep the odd shed or two, just in case (you know who you are!).
So what is my point? Well firstly I now know I don't do minimalistic and secondly when you move house with over 100 boxes FULL OF STUFF it can be hard to see the wood for the Forest! AND somewhere in this house for the last 5 weeks the iron has been hiding, very much in the same way that the Americans hid the Arc of the Covenant in Indiana Jones. We have thus managed to get by because we lasted until Christmas working through every garment, then ironed things at my parents and having lasted another week, well we are just about to run out of clothes. BUT salvation is at hand in looking for something completely different I have found not one but TWO IRONS (I didn't even know that we had two, I suppose it is a BOGOF).
Of course I didn't find the RCD Electrical cut-off trip switch so I'll probably electrify myself when I'm wet cutting the Kitchen floor tiles tomorrow, but hey, who cares because today was the day I finally found the Iron!
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