The Dinner Guests.....

On Saturday last nine of us came to tea,

There was Alison, Claire, John and me,

and Steve & Ruth, Matthew, Graham and Shirley,

Down to Sussex our friends Sue & Steve to see.

Now poor Sue she worked so very hard to please,

The hostess with the most-est entertaining with such ease.

There was Goulash, rice, jacket potatoes and stew,

and for puddings Crumbles, Trifles and cakes too.

But there was something amiss all was not well,

As some food was not eaten and here there's a tale to tell...

Of fuss pots and picky eaters so selective in what they eat,

they had only had one thing in common, they all ate meat.

The puddings were the hurdle that day by the coast,

That challenged even the very best of a re-union host.

For the recipes used flavours normally loved by most

but sue would have done better if she'd just given them toast!

Now let me try to remember the individual fusspots one by one

and you'll understand her frustrations by the time this rhyme is done.

The trifle looked beautiful with Cointreau, Cream and Stem Ginger too,

But sadly the ginger was disliked by all but a few.

I didn't eat ginger nor did Alison or John it seemed so unfair,

because neither did Ruth, Steve,  Matthew or Claire!

Ruth didn't like coffee at all so the coffee cake was out,

along with mike, Steve, Matthew, Claire and Shirley I've no doubt.

When we looked deeper we saw that as a group we're difficult to please,

Firstly there is Shirley who cannot abide the taste of cooked cheese.

Then Graham and Matthew cringe up at the thought of a banana,

even if it were the freshest and tastiest straight from Ghana.

Sue herself doesn't help with her own choice of dish,

for the one thing she can't stand is a wet slippery fish.

Claire and Alison won't touch anything in the least bit spicy,

And offering spray cream to the Devon contingent left them a little icy.

For myself it is Banoffee pie that is my hell,

and rich cream leaves Graham feeling quite unwell.

But Steve number one is the man of the match

for he says he can eat whatever you catch.

So if you are running a party for friends just like us,

Don't treat them with care and make no fuss.

Don't bust a gut to do something special cause it'll just make you blue...

no instead tell them that there's just bread & butter and it'll have to do!

M.Thomas

So when a dear friend pulls out all of the stops and creates some fantastic food
then we really shouldn't have the temerity to let her down!


Psst But the Pineapple cake was to die for!

Dedicated and with many thanks to......

My very dear friend Sue.

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Picture 'Post'

This post is really just a collection of photos of things that interest me starting with Percy....

Percy our regular visiting pheasant has been back for several months now. The guests love him.

Rough seas have caused all sorts of issues, here one of the wind farm support vessels takes refuge nearer the shore.

Here the beach takes refuge from the sea as it buries a hut.
This was once a car  park and still is 5' below the shingle.

Storm passed the Norfolk Mussell men can start to harvest them by the sack load.

Back to the BIG NORFOLK SKIES and some Golden Plovers flying through the silvery moon.

A classic Norfolk sunset......

The moon is but a dot against our Norfolk skies. This Blue lagoon is near to Burnham Overy Stathie.

And here the clear dark skies display a cloud of stars, sadly the camera struggles to see them all but Orion stands out bold and impressive.

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I had never seen a Dutch Cap being put into place and was surprised at the speed and efficiency with which the task was done but it took three men to do it.

Things I have learned this month mainly from the Auntie Beeb.

1. " The Universe is full of Galactic cosmic rays which are high-energy particles spewed out from Supernovae  (exploding stars).  But more importantly according to 'Horizon' Man on Mars: Mission to the Red Planet their effects are pernicious  because by affecting the growth of brain cells they can induce memory loss."

And clearly that is why I can never remember where my glasses are!


2. According to The Culture Show: Lego the building block of Architecture there are 86 pieces of Lego for every person on the planet and despite this I can still never find a 'flat two~a' when I need one.
Further more by 2019 there will be more Lego people in the world than real ones! Surely there is a Terminator meets Doctor Who episode right there... "The Rise of the Lego People".

Still if they tried to take over the world we could just step on them. Ooo, no, actually that really hurts  doesn't it!

A friend of mine was recently bemoaning the task of hoovering because she kept on building up terrible static charges and every now and again she was suffering the inevitable 'crack' as the power unleashed itself onto her.

I could thoroughly sympathise with her on this as in the past I have suffered really badly on many occasions from static shocks.
 These shocks truly hurt and in some instances a dull pain lasted several hours.
In my case it was predominately at work in the Supermarkets. By far the worse scenario was whilst restocking the paperware section.
Paperware?
Just a nice way to say bog rolls!


They come packaged in large polythene parcels and to open the outer packs you can use a special knife which is designed not to tear the vulnerable packets within.  Alternatively, if you are skilled enough, you can rip it open on the seam that it was sealed at.
Either way the objective is to get the product onto the shelf as quickly as possible.... Time is money.
This means that you are ripping these plastic sacks with quite a momentum and as a result generating some static.
Now a combination of things start to enhance the problem. Firstly the sheer quantity of cases opened to fill a whole section. Then the disposal of all the empty plastic outers which are normally scrunched up and squeezed into the first one opened. Your arm rubbing the side of the plastic continuously ~ Think rubbing a balloon on your head but on a more industrial scale.
Finally there is no escape for the charge it just sits there and you become a human accumulator, a time bomb if you will.

Then just to add some spice to the mix both the shelves that you are restocking and also the table that you work from are made from metal and are very much earthed.

CRACK!

It is truly no exaggeration to say that it is a highly audible noise when she blows and my God does it sting. There have been many, many times when it has made me yelp in pain much to the astonishment of passing customers. Normally leaping from the finger tips to the metal surface. The most concerning though are those that leap to the table because it is, well, er... thigh height and extremely disconcerting as a shock cracks through your trousers just inches away from the crown jewels!

I have never understood why, despite the pain, whenever we witness anyone getting a static shock we can't help but laugh at the poor misfortunate. Even writing this very sentence I was unable to prevent a cruel smile from spreading across my face, quite involuntary. Why is that?
It is the same with the funny bone or even a 'ricked' neck. What part of Darwin's theory explains that?


So to conclude this ramble about static I just thought I would tell you of two of my coping strategies in the hope that they may help either yourselves or my friend Shirley.

Strategy 1.

Whilst working and on completion of each task try to beat the shock at it's own game. It seems to love jumping any gap of about an inch so instead of lightly touching the metal surface slam your hand, palm down, with a bang. Any static will be displaced without the shock, however in my case it normally made the customers jump in a different kind of shock.

Strategy 2.

Far more fun this one but truly works. When you feel the charge has built up sufficiently (this is easily detected by just glancing at the hairs on your arms, are they standing to attention) then you call a colleague over. Ask them what is on the end of their finger and when they lift the hand to look you place you finger up to theirs and ZAP! It jumps to them often with a real crack and the great thing is that for some reason which I don't understand they alone feel the pain... BRILLIANT.
Oh a great variation on this is to touch someones nose.

Shirley, may I suggest that you try it on the cat's nose.



Back to The Old Bakery now and news that at last the Windmill has received a new top to replace the previous one which was falling apart.

The owners had the old one dismantled in

August and it has just looked like a fat chimney ever since.
The Dutch Tower Mill was built 170 years ago in 1844 by my 7th cousin, 3 times removed, a John Pegg. It was one of the first Tower Mills built in England, cutting edge technology at the time.

It original stood at 40' tall, 5 stories high, it became derelict around 1926 and during the war the Dutch Cap was removed along with the 5th floor. This was because it was thought to be a danger to the Lancasters and Wellington Bombers flying out of Foulsham airport just 2 miles down our road.

It is currently lived in and part of a house at it's base.

Around Christmas time we saw that a whole new cap had been built at the bottom of the mill and we guessed that they were going to have to use a crane to lift it into place.
However it was a month before they finally brought the crane in and myself and my uncle John who was lodging with us went into the garden to watch this unusual event.
I had never seen a Dutch Cap being put into place and was surprised at the speed and efficiency with which the task was done but it took three men to do it.
It was lifted into place so quickly that I nearly missed the photos.

Finally it was planted firmly in place painted a beautiful gloss white which we hoped would look stunning against a blue sky.

It is a real piece of our family history as well as this house's and we even have the bit of paper that John Pegg waved at the auctioneer when he bought the land that he later built the windmill on.

So once again our view from the back of the house has been restored and all is right with the world.

 

In the evening sun it is even more spectacular.....

Post Script....

It is always fascinating when researching bits and pieces on the internet and often illuminating.

For instance you can find original job ads for workers in the mill....

Situations Vacant
To Millers & Bakers
WANTED, a steady active Young Man to work a WINDMILL. Also a Young Man to the BAKING BUSINESS & go out with the Cart.
Apply to Mr. J. Pegg, Hindolveston Mills.
Norfolk News - 15th August 1868

You can also find old photos...

And then in looking into the Airfield just down the road I find that it had Lancasters, Wellingtons, Mosquitos, Halifax and American B25s stationed there. Also 5 of the hangers were used to hide the Horsa Gliders used in the D Day operations.

Then right at the end of the Wikipedia page it states....

"Currently, the runway is occupied by two large chicken houses and a photographic and film studio producing adult movies operates from the old fire station on the east side of the airfield."

I wonder if I should nip over there and give them a B&B card because there could be some business there!

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How do you help them in with their bags if you can't go out side in either The Posh or The Everyday Indoor shoes?

Women and their shoes huh! I mean, a pair for 'evening wear' one to go with the red dress and another pair to match the little black number and then the 'comfortable' shoes for everyday living.
Madness.

They really don't seem to apply a solid rationale to their collections but never fear Mike is here.

I have one or two pairs of shoes myself but behind the 'collection' is a man's rationale which of course is far more pragmatic... In my opinion.

Now my daughter appears to think that I am somewhat deranged and so today I am using the blog to give her a full and comprehensive list of all my shoes and their functions.

I admit that I have accumulated a few shoes but that doesn't make me Imelda Marcos does it?

So Claire, here is the full inventory thus negating any further clarification......


THE SLIPPER

 It is probably an urban myth (or more a suburban myth) but I read some where that slippers are one of the most dangerous things in the house. More accidents occurring than with kitchen knives! This is because A&E's are full of people that have slipped or tripped in their slippers.
It is ironic then that the only reason that I even bought them was because I had to go into hospital for an operation. So I didn't mind as I was in the best place if I did fall over.
So I only wear my slippers when I am staying over with friends or relatives. Claire tells me that this seems a bit presumptuous, as if you are thinking of moving in. So I won't be wearing them when I stay at her place! No I'll wear a pair of socks that I had been wearing for the week prior on the allotment, the ones where my big fat toe pokes out to say hello. Then she'll just hope that I'm not thinking of moving in.
In the shop I had a choice between the dark blue velveteen Noel Coward look or a massive pair of Lion King Claws. The latter would surely be the more dangerous but I was momentarily tempted as I envisaged the fun I could have by placing them just peaking out from behind an ajar door and calling the cat over.

THE POSH INDOOR SHOES

These are a 'step up', if you'll excuse the pun, to the slippers. Laced, they are a lot safer and unlike slippers they are not in a constant state of trying to take themselves off.
I may wear them in place of slippers whilst staying 'over' because, Claire, I don't think they cry out with such presumptuousness. (Thank heaven for spell check!).
Now the rule for indoor shoes is pretty simple, I NEVER go out doors in them, or into the attic.
IF I have found that by circumstance some caller has had cause to make me go out side in them then on my return and in privacy there would be much cursing and mumblings of annoyance. Best to leave me alone for 10 minutes or so.

These are normally worn when I have B&B guests and to ensure that they don't think I'm cheap I have a spare set which I will wear in turn.











THE EVERYDAY INDOOR SHOES

Now I'm not crazy and clearly I couldn't keep my Posh Indoor shoes in such pristine condition if I continue wearing them all the time even when there are no guests. That would be plain madness. Hence The Everyday Indoor shoes.
The indoors only rules apply although they are allowed in the attic, well I'm not some kind of OCD freak don't you know.
You will probably work out that the shoes functions are dictated by their natural aging process. For example The Everyday indoor shoes were once The Posh Indoor shoes before the ravages of age took it's toll on them.
Seems harsh? No worse than being a female newsreader in the BBC.





Now, I hear you ask, what about when guests arrive and leave, how do you help them in with their bags if you can't go out side in either The Posh or The Everyday Indoor shoes?

A very astute observation, well done.

Well obviously I have thought that scenario through and for those days I will wear.......


THE INTERMEDIATE (DRY DAY) INDOOR SHOES

These boys have matured from their early impish days of being Posh Indoor shoes, on through their teens as Everyday Indoor shoes and are now proudly disheveled enough to make it to the level of Intermediate (Dry Day) Indoor shoes.
They should not think of it as failure but simply a natural progression onto things more....
outdoory.

As long as the Intermediate shoe does not tread on anything icky like Percy the gay pheasant's poo then they are welcome throughout home and garden and even the car and shops on a dry day.



THE INTERMEDIATE (WET DAY) INDOOR SHOES

As above but allowed out on light to medium damp days too. What is a light or medium damp day?
Well a light damp day is sitting water after rain.
A Medium damp day is during light rain.
A heavy damp day is pouring rain.
Any thing heavier is categorised as a squelcher and only serious outdoor shoes should be worn.

So what is the definition of light rain?  Well you are all just being silly now!

You might wonder if these shoes are invisible or if I simply missed when taking the photo. Well sadly the current Intermediate (Wet Day) Indoor Shoes have departed this mortal world. The right shoe suffered major stress trauma culminating in it splitting in two and despite consulting with the top experts in their field there was nothing any of us could do for them.
They have gone to the Great Clarke's Store in the sky.

Rest in peace boys



THE GYM SHOES

The Gym shoes were bought for one reason only and yes to those that know me and maybe surprised, yes I am now going to a gym!
Well I have become a bit of a fat sloth and as Alison had started to go I figured that I couldn't have her beat me in an arm wrestle so I followed suit a few weeks later.
What to wear? Every girls nightmare! Not being a jogger or suchlike I had nothing suitable so I went out and bought some cheap tracksuit bottoms and a discoloured fawn shirt which I, rightly, thought would hide the sweat a bit. I then purchased a pair of shoes whose only function was to contain any athletes foot fungi that I may manufacture.

So there you go I'm dressed like Rocky with the physique of Eric Pickles, nothing too ridiculous there then.





THE SUMMER GARDENING SHOES

Laces stripped of their cloth outer covering and holes where my bunions have fought to escape these guys are close to retirement.
Still they make excellent gardening shoes as long as it isn't raining because the rain will seep into the cracked sole. Also I have to be careful not to stand on a sharp stone as the self same sole is as thin as cheap underlay.

Obviously these were formerly intermediate (wet day) indoor shoes, before succumbing to the less cherished position of Summer Gardening shoes.
Long gone are those halcyon days when they were young and spirited Posh Indoor shoes, just distant fond memories now, ahhh the golden days. Full of all the promises in life, what we could have done, what could we have been...


I'll chuck em in the trash soon.






THE SUMMER OUTDOOR TRAINERS

Light weight, man about town shoes. Ideal for nipping to the shops, cycling, driving and country walking.
BUT it must be dry because they leak like river banks on the Somerset Levels.

They are branded with the 'Land Rover' brand. Frankly it doesn't sell the car as far as I'm concerned. For if I got the equivalent amount of water from when I step into a puddle as the Land Rover would get going through a ford we would be up to our ankles in it.

But they are comfortable and homely.








THE YER BUT SUMMER OUTDOOR TRAINERS

'Last years' model.

The same as the above but just a tad more weary.

One part of me says chuck em out whilst the other side says yer, but they are serviceable and are still ok as spares.

Good for wearing down the rec if I go and kick a ball around, which I don't...

But if I did, these would be my 'go to' boys for sure.

They are also lined up to be my next...........

THE DECORATING TRAINERS

The final stage, when trainers have served their days but are near enough still in one piece or two at least.
Covered in paint and wall paper paste it is a wonder that I can still tie the laces.

Everyone has a knackered old pair of shoes to decorate in don't they?







THE SHOES

Just shoes really, weddings, funerals, anniversaries, bar mitzvahs, cavorting and visits to the Accountant.

Also good for Court attendances....

I would imagine.

THE KNACKERED OLD MOULDY SHOES

I really ought to chuck these away.

Nasty.

















THE SANDALS

Another enigma to me in the same vein as the Slippers.
Being one step better than flip flops which strike me as really slovenly and the chewing gum of the shoe world.

The Sandals have little going for them, along with crocks they look stupid if you wear socks with them whilst wearing shorts. Yet they are uncomfortable on the feet if you don't wear socks as they do not have the same foot molding properties of other shoes. You can always spot the English man on holiday, he's the one in sandals with the shorts and knee length socks pulled fully up. Or if you don't wear socks with them you end up with really odd sun burn patterns on your feet. In the case of Crocs you look like you have had your feet in a waffle maker. Still Sandals do get you safely across a shingle beach without wincing too much and that is the only reason I own them.



THE WALKING BOOTS / WINTER OUTDOOR SHOES

Main uses are for everyday outdoor stuff like shopping in the winter time.

Also they are my walking boots all year round.

I don't do a massive amount of walking ordinarily but these guys are going to be busy this year as Alison  and I have decided to go backpacking around Scotland.

Well we married young and never got it out of our system then so we are going to hop on some trains and ferries and see where we get. Don't think that we are going to be staying in lovely posh hotels, no, for at least two nights we are sleeping in a Yurt on the remote isle of Eigg.
Remember the 50's are the new 20's!




THE ALLOTMENT / GARDEN BOOTS

Waterproof, fur lined and a quick & easy degree of onable and offable.

The Allotment boots are my latest acquisition.

Very cosy indeed.









THE GARDEN / ALLOTMENT BOOTS

 Yet another example of foot ware recycling.

20 years ago these were my Walking boots and now they are not.

Whilst still very comfortable and totally molded to my odd shaped feet they have sadly lost all tread on the soles.

If they were up for the MOT they would fail as the tread is as smooth as a formula one car's slick dry weather tyres.
But they serve quite adequately in either the garden or the allotment especially as the mud doesn't get stuck in any tread.




THE WELLINGTON BOOTS

Wellies they are wonderful, oh wellies they are swell,
Cause they keep out the water, and they keep in the smell,

 Billy Connolly

Why do wellingtons always flop over just when you are hopping around on one foot struggling to balance whilst your foot cramps as you try to point the toes into the ever folding welly top.

Someone needs to invent a huge Welly horn to aid in placement.

Again I do not like wellies, for when you have finally managed to get your foot in side they slap against your leg with every step.

The nastiest feeling comes when you are out camping in a dew ridden field and you wake up in the morning in a desperate need for a wiz. You have no time to dilly dally and so you stuff your bare foot into the cold wellington and run off to the loo block. Ever so quickly your foot builds a suction rapport with the boot and an embarrassing farty noise announces every step that you take. Other campers walking towards the toilet block quickly about turn deciding that discretion is the better part of valour!. 

I only keep them for my visits to Somerset, or Walton-in-The-Thames.



THE SPECIAL OCCASIONS SHOES

Well a guy wants to look good on the dance floor too don't you know!












So there you have it Claire, your fathers totally logical shoe for every occasion breakdown.

Now try telling me that I'm weird!

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"I only actually called time and withdrew when my bogies started to freeze......"

I have had a lot to do in the house and also a vast amount of catching up in the garden and the allotment too. So having written another one of my 200 point (plus) lists I hatched the simple but obvious plan to work out side when it was not raining and inside when it was raining.

A simple plan, I thought, ah but as I have said before plans are made to be scuppered and so mine have been. You see for whilst the winds and rains have been lashing the vast majority of Britain and Lake Somerset has been newly created Norfolk has seen hardly a drop of the wet stuff.

I can think of a couple of really rainy days but for the most part it has been no worse than overcast and of course very, very cold. The cold doesn't bother me at all. In my old Supermarket days I didn't flinch at working in the giant 'walk in' freezers for up to an hour at -25c.
 Wrapped up in a good coat and gloves, I had to switch off the chillers fans for 10 minutes at a time otherwise I could not have handled the chill factor but I would sort out the entire freezer with the door shut.  I never felt at risk because I never really felt cold, sure my ears & nose had a tingly feel but I only actually called time and withdrew when my bogies started to freeze.

I don't know what genetic stream this tolerance to cold has come from as everyone of my family appears to have a distinct lack of enthusiasm towards anything less than a comfortable +20c. Much less than +15c and hands start to rub, cardigans donned and mumblings of heaters being turned on are muted.

In the shop I would always wear a short sleeved shirt even in the deepest winter and both customers and staff would tell me off because I made them feel cold! I think some people may have had the misguided thought that I was simply attention seeking but I can assure you that I really truly wasn't too bothered. I have always assumed that my extra blubber gave me enough insulation.

I remember nipping out onto the vast supermarket roof of one of the branches, it was nearly the size of a football pitch and some of the drains were blocked from the thawing snow causing water to drip inside the building. So I climbed up some steps from a back corridor that no one ever normally uses, through a small door and out into the January chill to clear the effected drains. A couple of minutes and it would be done.

Well I had nearly finished and was just about to go back in when BANG! The little access door slammed shut. Now to prevent burglar bill from easily breaking into the store should he get access to the roof the door was designed void of any means of opening it from the outside. I did have an in-house radio but left that on the steps just the other side of the door in case I dropped it in the pools of water, seemed sensible at the time!

Never mind, I thought, there are some office windows further along where I can look down into several offices and one of them at least should have a person in. So along I went and out of the 3 offices just one had a member of staff in it. Ahh Mandy, right so I called out to her but the glass was too thick and she clearly had no idea that I was there. "MANDY" I shouted again, but she just carried on as if she was ignoring me. Mmmm, I wondered to myself, had Mandy closed the door as a joke, something that I wouldn't put past her at all, and now she was pretending that she couldn't hear me.
I slammed on the glass and Mandy looked up at me smiling, gave a little wave and then turned her back to me and carried on with the filing. Now was she enjoying a joke at my expense or was she just smiling and waving because she thought I was saying hello from the roof top!

My suspicion was definitely that she was taking the mick out of me and that she was the one that had slammed the door closed. However of course I could not be sure of this and as I needed her help I had to act as if she were innocent until I could get of this damned roof and throttle her....  if proven guilty. I banged on the glass again and once more Mandy looked up, nodded, smiled, waved then walked out of the room and was gone! Now, I thought, she must be taking the piss but my only connection to anyone was gone and my resilience to the January chill was to be truly tested.

I thought, right well she is probably on her way down the corridor to open the door and let me out as she has had her little bit of fun. So I waited.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I went back to the offices, no one there.

Banging on the door was futile as no one ever walks along this corridor.

Getting a little desperate now I started to look for some other way to make contact with the inside world. Sadly the design of these roofs does not make it easy to simply lean over and call for help as there is a fake sloped tile roof around the entire perimeter which in some places goes up a further 10'.

After a good look around I found that I had an area with a narrow vision down to the smokers area at the side of the store and as luck would have it one of the other assistant Managers was insight. He was a long way away, about 200yards or more. Now was the point where I realised that I was setting myself up for complete ridicule but hay ho, I'd allowed myself to be locked out so I prepared to take it on the chin like a man. Wait till I get my hands on that Mandy!
I shouted down to my colleague who disorientated by the fact that he could not work out quite where this voice was coming from and so also thought that I was taking the micky out of him.

Eventually I got him up to the said door where he released me and I clambered back inside.

Mandy had gone home by this time but upon interrogation she still insists that she was just saying hi, because she thought that it was I that was larking around!!



Where was I?


Oh yes, so right, yes my list at The Old Bakery, outdoors if no rain and indoors if it is raining.
Well with the distinct lack of rain I have spent the last few weeks predominately out in the allotment and garden thus getting practically nothing done indoors so today and despite the beautiful sunshine I had to confine myself indoors all day, washing, tidying etc, etc, etc...

The exception being Sunday when Alison and I went out for a walk on the coast from Burnham Overy Staithe where we normally canoe from. It was a beautiful day and we walked for a mile and a half to the distant dunes where we found another of those magnificent beaches that until we came here I had only ever seen in Northumbria. The beach was stunning and there was not a soul about except in the distance a couple were walking hand by hand.

The two dots on the left horizon are people on our crowded beach.

The gentle wind caused brilliant drifts in the sand, here the loose sand is being blown into a small pool of sea water....

 Then we headed back and were treated to some fantastic displays predominately from 1000's of Golden Plovers not unlike the Murmurations of Starlings...

There were absolutely 1000's of them and at times they filled the sky like a black cloud.

Many are on the ground and this represents just a small proportion of them.

Geese flying low in front of Holkham Church

The views were lovely all the way back to the car and the sounds of the Lapwings, Curlews and Oyster Catchers filled the air. It was all very beautiful and wild and next time we go we are determined to do a much longer walk to Holkham beach.

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