Let me give you some examples of why being Normal for Norfolk (NFN) is not the embarrassment that it seems to hint at. Today I had to go to our local hospital for a physiotherapy appointment. I parked the car in the hospital car park and it was totally free to do so, for as long as I needed and for all those patients whom by their very nature are not well and do not go there by choice. Look at the hospitals that I have had reason to park at in the South, for an appointment of just a half an hour I had to pay the following;- The East Surrey at Redhill, £2, Crawley Hospital £2 , Haywards Heath £1.50, Queen Vic at East Grinstead £2.50, Northwick Park at Harrow £2 and so it goes on. I could understand those hospitals in the middle of a town where everyone would try to park so they could go to the shops, but come on East Surrey East Grinstead and Haywards Heath where there is no reason to be there other than a visit to the hospital. Lets just target the ill, because they have 'bigger' things on their minds and they have no choice but to park here AND if we're lucky the appointment will run over or the Pharmacy will be slow in dispensing and they will have to pay double. Oh yer, perhaps we could ensure that the machines don't give change then we can also keep all the change too when they have to round up because they don't have the exact money. Well done Kelling Hospital for abiding by the Patients Charter principles that you can expect the NHS to make it easy for everyone to use its services and the patients right to receive health care on the basis of your clinical need, not on your ability to pay.
THEN when I get in one of the physiotherapists comes over to book me in because the receptionist was tied up with someone on the phone. Then as I walked into the waiting area the other patient looks up from his paper an says good morning and when the next patient joins us we do the same and have a chat.
THEN I am called in on time! If that is Normal for Norfolk then thank God I've moved here.
The electricians finished yesterday, that is they finished phase one, which was to get the B&B side of the business set up. The fire alarms are in every bedroom and public area, the kitchen has a heat detector and the halls have their emergency lights fitted. There are a few 'snags' to be completed before I can be given the required certificate that my property is electrically safe and I am sure that to put them right will involve more money..... everything continually seems to involve more money!
I am still painting and decorating the main guest bedroom and getting ready for he plumber who is due to come on Monday to remove all the bathroom items, leaving me just one week to redecorate before they return to plumb in all the new stuff. Alison will be off that week so she plans to assist in turning this around in time.
The garden is looking better and better. We have so much fruit, Raspberries, Redcurrants, Loganberries Blackberries, Cherries, Red Grapes, White Grapes, Red Cob nuts, Hazel nuts, Blueberries, Gooseberries, Rhubarb, Pears, Quinces, and two apple trees. The garden will be open to the visitors and I am sure that some fruit will be snacked upon, we used to call it grazing in the supermarket world, but with some 30,000 customers a week it was a far bigger issue!
There was an incident once where I met a lady of about 60 years of age whom had been 'grazing' on one of our apples but God works in mysterious ways and on this occasion he decided to punish her by quite literally making her choke on it! When I saw her she was gasping for breath and she had half of the damning evidence still in her hand with a big bite out of it. I had been trained on the Heimlich maneuver several years previously but had never actually carried it out but, frighteningly, it was becoming clear to me that I had little choice but so to do. We were near the customer service desk and I explained what I was about to do, then I got into position behind her with both arms hugging her and both hands clenched under her rib cage at her tummy. This is, it has to be said, a position of some intimacy, I then started a series of firm pulls into her stomach area trying to effectively blow the apple chunk out of her wind pipe. After 3 or 4 of these she indicated that it had moved but was still stuck, so I gave her about the same amounts of firm slaps to her back and suddenly out shot the mischievous bite of Granny smith just missing the Customer Service member of staff.
Now, unknown to me, my ever watchful Checkout Manager, Nicole, was observing this from some way behind me. Thus she was not in command of the full facts of the matter, that is she had no idea the lady was actually choking. Well if you can put yourself in her shoes and see the same events without that snippet of information you can probably imagine her disquiet at what she saw. She explained later that she saw me spooning an elderly lady, hugging her close to me and then start to thrust back and forth at the hips after which I let go of her and started to thump her on the back quickly followed by much joviality. In short she thought I must have gone bonkers, lost the plot and was heading for the dole queue!
What did I do to punish the grazing Granny? Nothing, of course, she had learnt her lesson and I'd had a very cheap thrill ...........everyone was happy!
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