Things that go 'bump' in the night, Should not really give one a fright. It's the hole in each ear That lets in the fear, That, and the absence of light! .............................................Spike Milligan.

I had a brief encounter with Spike Milligan many decades ago when I worked in the North Pole and not many people can say that and look you straight in the eye!

Sadly the boring truth behind the head-line is that whilst I actually did work in the North Pole it is not necessarily the one that you immediately think of, no it was The North Pole road WC10 in London. However the brief encounter with Spike Milligan was exactly as described as it was both brief and involved the eccentric that was Spike Milligan.

I was working in an Off Licence, part time, and it was not too unusual to have TV personalities turn up on occasions as we were very close to the BBC TV studios. I cannot remember what he bought or for that matter which of us served him, but the only thing that is frozen in my aged brain's permafrost is that it was a Saturday afternoon and he was wearing his pyjamas and a dressing gown.

But that's cool, I guess.    He was about 56 years old and as a grown up he could do what he wanted as long as it harmed no one. So why do I regale you with this anecdote other than to drop some famous guys name into my blog to catch more search engines so as to get more hits (I never met ELVIS PRESLEY because ELVIS PRESLEY never came to England........ unlike JESUS). There that should increase the Blog's hits!
Well this morning I was trawling through the sea of T shirts in my chest of draws when I came across one that looked really rather nifty and for the life of me that I could not remember buying. Mmmm, did Mum buy it for me? Naaa, did Alison get it for me, naaaa, I tried it on and it fitted! Well maybe it was my sons...... nope not his style. So at a loss I left it on as my shirt of the day.

When Claire got up she happened to notice that I was wearing a 'new' shirt and for a horrid moment I thought it was hers. However Claire managed to dismiss that thought by just a few words, "Isn't that from the Pyjamas you bought to go to hospital in last year?"                                          Mmmmmm,  maybe.
For she was right, it all came flooding back to me, big shop, some Town, somewhere, some time I did indeed buy some poshish PJ's and now I come to think of it this came from that set.

The thing is I really took a shine to this shirt / pyjama top and it felt, well like, well comfy and I suppose that familiar, comfy cosy feeling was what Spike liked so much, or he was just pissed! Despite Claire's protests I elected to keep wearing the shirt/PJ for the remainder of the day, which as it turned out, became a very sunny day and so there was no need for a jumper or coat. I could proudly wear it where all could admire it.

I don't understand why Claire found it weird as it is my understanding that all the fashionable Asda Yummy Mummys are going to the shops in their PJ's now. We were in Melton Constable last year and in the middle of the day a lady was pushing a pram down the High Street and she too was wearing her dressing gown & PJ's. Frankly I think I'm a little behind the times!   So we strolled around the Auction rooms in Fakenham for an hour and bought some veg and meat from the market and not a head was turned.

I'm not eccentric, no Burlington Bertie was eccentric! To anyone who lived in Worthing in the 1970/80's Burlington Bertie was some thing of a celebrity in the town. He used to dress up in what I can only describe as 'dandy' clothing fashioning himself on a music hall character from a song of the same name. A long song (check Wikipedia) he acted out many of the moments on the street with a flamboyancy that meant you could not help but turn to watch him. He wore a bright red jacket, bright white trousers,a straw boater and very extrovert glasses. His hands, in dazzling white gloves, would make gentle dances in the air breaking away to vivaciously direct the traffic.

I dress up in fashion

And when I am feeling depressed

I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff

Stick my hat on and toddle up West

I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty

and saunter along like a toff

I walk down The Strand with my gloves on my hand

Then I walk down again with them off

This could be off putting as he would plant himself, with his dandy bicycle, on the busiest of junctions. Further more he had on the back of his bike a Tape deck that blasted out rousing Land of Hope and glory style music which would add further to his dramatic dancing hands whilst encouraging a trace of the Monty Pythons silly walks to boot.
        The man was harmless and well kind of made you smile which is not a bad thing is it?   I can remember one of my delivery drivers arriving at my back door spitting blood (metaphorically speaking), he explained that some nut (Burlington Bertie) was prancing about on the side of the road and as the driver was distracted by him the lights changed and he hit the car in front. The lorry driver was more incensed as when he looked back at Burlington Bertie he had totally stopped his little show and looking straight at the driver held up his white gloved index finger, clenching the rest of the hand, he slowly waved the scolding finger at the driver like a metronome. It was as if he was saying tut, tut, tut who's a naughty boy then?

Eccentrics are everywhere, there was Slack Alice in the Goring road, Worthing. We always knew when she arrived because the first thing you heard was her Ships anchor chain being threaded around the handles of the front doors of the supermarket to FIRMLY secure her three wheel bike. She spent some 5 minutes in this operation effectively shutting down the use of one of the entrance doors as people had to negotiate the 'cordoned off area'. She would then come into the store and sit on the pallet size display of granulated sugar. Now Slack Alice was not young, nor was she petite, the three wheel bike was required out of necessity for it really had to be load bearing, neither did she present herself as a clean, neat person. She could not have been more scruffy, with her long grey hair getting caught under her bottom as she sat on the display of sugar methodically going through a pile of Chump Chop labels going back many, many weeks.
You see the chump chop was the cheap cut of lamb and whilst the one chump chop that she bought each week was nearly the same price each time the weight would of course vary and she would get very passionate that the last one was half a pence more and why was that. So I would have to have the same conversation, each week, she would show me everyone of her 20 previous blood stained chump chop labels and I would lose 10 minutes of my life explaining that one chop was slightly heavier than the next. She would then drift through the store doing a little bit of shopping and a lot of moaning to the other customers (whom had all been put of buying their sugar that week) about the price of Chump Chops and finally ending in a crescendo of tumbling heavy duty metal chains at the front door as she launched her bike out onto the high street totally oblivious to the horns of the cars swerving to avoid her.


Claire, I AM NOT ECCENTRIC, I am 51 and appreciate comfortable clothes, it just so happens that they clearly do not come as comfy as PJ's!






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