Ode to Asparagus.....

Ode to Asparagus

Six foot tall and woody and dry,

last years growth that shot us by.

'Tis Autumn and the old stems die,

fallen they stay just where they lie.

Cleared away the patch lies dormant,

a dead bed of sand looking unimportant.

Their shallow roots make the weeding a torment,

weeded by hand the crop the gardener strives to augment.

So why do they bother, why do they care?

Well the answer lies underground the answer lies there.

This magical root grows with a panache quite rare,

a royal among vegetables with a tasteful flair.

In May pushing out from the sand in just a short while,

this green column grows fast with an elegance of style.

Pick it young and build up your pile,

for this touch of luxury will make you smile.

So eat it slowly with Eggs Benedict at a dinner party,

or perhaps as a noble soup strong and hearty,

but beware my friends the hidden evil of this Moriarty,

for too much Asparagus will surely make you quite, quite farty!!

I have an Asparagus plot in the allotment which is quite coveted by mine neighbours, a plot laid with meticulous care by the previous owner about 3 to 4 years ago. This is rather a shame, for him, as Asparagus should not be picked for the first two to three years after planting and as a result it is I who am literally reaping the rewards of his hard work and very nice it is too!
It has indeed been a prolific provider of strong thick Asparagus shoots and to date we have had Asparagus quiche, Asparagus steamed, poached, fried, we've had Asparagus Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday too. (Thursday was an anomaly I feel). We have had Asparagus up to HERE!

So A few days ago I felt the urge to 'share' the joy that is Asparagus with some of my nearest and dearest (and even the nearest that are the farthest) by posting some little love bundles out across the nation to promote Norfolk's great 'foody' heritage.

I thought it was a fun idea until my wife informed me that one of the recipients was actually away on holiday in Kenya or some such place for the next two weeks. I don't think that by the time she gets home her little 'bundle of joy' will be quite so joyful! Furthermore I am concerned that the asparagus once decomposed and runny will then remove all the ink from the card of explanation enclosed with it. She will then return home to find a package full of  a slimy sludge and she shall instantly think that some nutter has got it in for her. Oh God, what have I done??
 I do hope she switched the central heating off!!!


So if you are saddened that you have not been sent any, my apologies but the above tale has led me to put a halt to my grand plan after all the intention was to spread the joy and not to lose the friendship of those self same nearest and dearest. Lesson learnt, I think!




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