Thursday 13 October 2011

Somewhere there is a parallel universe out there in deepest Pennsylvania....

We achieved the completion of the annex certainly because we have good friends and relatives but also because the Electrician, Plumber and Builder all bought in to the project. They fully took on board our vision of the end result and also the time constraints that we were under. However finding them all was an experience, you may recall the plumber that I talked of in my first Blog where he appeared to have decided to tell his wife that he was retiring whilst I was on hold on the phone!
See http://theoldbakery.blogspot.com/2010/12/day-plumber-retired.html

We also had several trades in to quote for a job who never ever got back to us despite our continual nudging and requesting of the quotes. We could not believe so many people would bother to turn up to the house to give us a quote for work and then simply disappear again. Perhaps the challenge was just too great,

Claire was tripping across the worlds cyber-space searching for any other blogs relating to refurbishing a building to create a B&B when she found this blog;-
http://makingbandb.blogspot.com/2008/09/being-busy-does-not-always-mean-real.html
 These people are basically doing much the same as us but in Pennsylvania USA and low and behold in one of their first blogs they describe the self same frustration regarding getting an electrician;

 "Tim is trying to find a good electrician. Getting the electrical system dealt with is the last "big issue" we have before we can start the remodeling and renovations. We did have an electrician come to the house, but he hasn't returned any of Tim's calls for the last two months. Time to find a new one."

So this does not seem to be one of those NFN (Normal for Norfolk) issues after all but appears to be the same the world over. Do not despair however as the NFN factor is still alive and well out here in deepest Norfolk.

Last week we wanted a Chinese take-away and so contacted the local restaurant. Well it is not really a restaurant as it only does delivery and trying to obtain a leaflet with its menu on was a challenge from the word go. It is run from a shop in the next village, just two miles away, and whilst the shop has the appearance of a Chinese take away from the outside (red and yellow signs an' all) it is no more than a kitchen inside. I  opened the door to get a menu from the place and to my surprise there was no Chinese girl, no restauranty style bar from which the non-existing Chinese girl could barely see over and no paper strips forming themselves into a Chinese year calander.  There was just an oriental chappy sitting with his back to me talking Mandarin down the phone. The room was completely empty except for the cases of bulk Chinese ingredients dotted around the floor, the man, his chair, the phone and the table it sat upon. In the back room I could just make out the kitchen. The lights in the room were all off. This, I thought, does not look like a Chinese Take-Away. The guy had not realised that I was standing right behind him and continued to rant on. I sidled backwards out of the door carefully latching it closed. How, I mused, do I obtain a leaflet with a menu on it?

A few days later I was near the Take-away and saw two Chinese women leave the building so I asked how I could get a menu. Not a word of reply came back, she simply turned back into the mystery building re-appearing with a menu, handed it to me in silence then got into a car and drove off.

So disregarding all my obvious concerns and all the above 'red flags' I went ahead and placed an order. You see I like my Chinese food and my brain is somewhat like a White board with all its 'stuff' written in Dry Marker pens frequently having any memories that act as a boundary wiped clean away.

I know that there are many women out there thinking yeah, that is so typical of a man but I believe women have the ultimate skill in wiping off painful experiences from their memories, how else could they ever go through child birth more than once!    

So I phone up Mr Woo Wing Wang Wong (Name adjusted to protect the guilty) and placed my order at his fast food chain, after all we are close enough to get their FREE delivery service. The order was duly placed, my address was taken, so far so good....... "OK it will be with you in one hour" and as I digest this speedy delivery time the phone was down and the deal done.

FAST FOOD in Norfolk is not fast, actually the word FAST when used in Norfolk about any thing is an oxymoron, things cannot both be in Norfolk and be Fast, it's just not going to happen.

One wonders how the Jets stay up in the sky without stalling and it becomes more obvious as there are no fast trains, not a single Motorway in the County, I haven't seen a running track and I am bloody sure that the only thing that the speed cameras ever take a photo of is me!!!












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