We had hit an all time low when I stood at the end of an aisle holding a long, long bit of twine, the other end of which was attached to a stick which was holding a box up and under the box was a pile of bread crumbs.

One of the last jobs that the builder had to complete was to make good a water damaged beam which actually had only affected the plaster around the beam.

He removed the offending plaster and then had to proceed with the removal of a further large quantity of debris.

The plaster was minimal, but the unscheduled debris was far greater. It had filled a void between two long steel girders and whilst it was hard to see how it got there the clue was probably the large mouses nest that we found. Just to be clear we found a large nest that belonged to several mice as opposed to a nest that belonged to one singularly large mouse. I am used to mice, as a pest, and have encountered them on many occasions but to date I have yet to meet a large mouse although I have had encounters with rats which I suppose are large mice!
I remember sitting in the car park in Crawley which is now where the new Library sits, waiting to pick up my daughter from work, and watching some 6 to 8 large rats foraging around the recycling area. This was right next to a path where loads of people were returning from the shops and it was most amusing to see the beasts scamper off and hide literally just 2 foot away from the clip clopping high heals of young ladies. I was sure that they would scream to high heaven if they realised just how close they were to so many rats. Then as soon as they passed the rats came straight back out from under the bush and in plain sight of these girls, if only they had turned and looked, the rats continued their foraging.
Only a few times in my career did we actually get infested with mice in any of my stores and it was NEVER nice. One store had so many that a customer would report one every other hour. They had come in, after a refit, through many old drainage holes (the mice that is, not the customers who actually came in via the conventional method of the front door).  After many weeks we thought we had found the hub of their activity, not unsurprisingly in the Bakery. I wanted to take the Bakery ovens apart as this was where they seemed to be nesting. Well not many believed that they could nest in a climate where the temperature hit 450 degrees and so they reluctantly agreed and the Female Area Manager turned up to oversee this check. Well the Oven engineer undid several bolts and just as he was about to remove the back plate of this bread oven, very suddenly a mouse fell to the floor and scampered away before you could hardly blink. Then another, and another, and three, four, five, six.... we lost count at this point as they run in every direction, many straight out into the shop whilst customers walked over them. I pointed out that my Area Manager was female only to disprove that all females are wimps when it comes to mice on the loose. She simply stood there watching the mice raining down and when they had all gone and the vast network of tunnels in the oven insulation foam was exposed she simply said "Yep, I guess that's where they're coming from" and pulled out her mobile phone to call the hygiene team at Head Office.

You get all sorts of pests in the Supermarket (not just the customer variety), take birds for instance. They have no idea how they got into the alien environment of a Supermarket and more importantly are clueless when it comes to escaping. More often than not they'll see a vista of freedom ahead of them and fly towards the parade of shops and sky, that they can see in the distance, with a great keenness and then wallop! They crash head first at full throttle straight into a pane of glass, knock themselves out cold and fall to the ground where if you are quick you can gather the fluff balls up, take them outside and when they wake up they fly off, not very straight as you would imagine with the mother of all headaches!

I have had several pigeons pop into stores, I'm not sure what attracts them but my gut feeling is that a group of bored teenagers probably see a pigeon minding its own business just in front of the automatic doors and then the wicked thoughts come into their not so innocent minds and with a little pincer move and a tad of vocal encouragement the bird is persuaded into our temple of light. Anyway that's what I'd have done at that age if the opportunity had presented itself!

So now we have a pigeon flapping around as free as a bird and yet trapped in the strange fluorescent surroundings that is a supermarket. More often than not a small posse of staff armed with snow shovels, brooms and such like would coalesce to get the bird through the front or back doors. Often looking like a scene from Dads Army there was a comic element as the troop with 'weapons' held high above their heads, would all run from one end of the store to the other chasing a confused bird. Then no sooner had they got to the other end and the bird would set off again back to whence she had come closely pursued by the tactical team.
Frequently half way across a customer would stop one of the pigeon chasers, whom would still have said snow shovel held high above his head, to ask "Did you know that you've got a Pigeon in here?" The temptation to say something none virtuous was, for the most part, suppressed and a thank you for that golden nugget of information was expressed, whilst in the background you may have seen the mob running past the end of the aisle as the sound of a low flying bomber pigeon (for they often dropped little liquidy bombs) flapped just above the customers head.


It was one such event where the evening was closing in and the pigeon had run everyone a merry dance that things were getting desperate, as were the ideas. I felt that we had hit an all time low when I stood at the end of an aisle holding a long, long bit of twine, the other end of which was attached to a stick which was holding a box up and under the box was a pile of bread crumbs. Surely this was never going to work and yet do you know what? That's right it didn't, the pigeon never even visited it.
Finally the store closed at the end of the evening and I had a rebirth of determination. I had noticed that it was showing signs of tiredness and also that it kept returning to the same hanging sign to roost. It was way to high to reach but I brought out the massive warehouse steps and as quiet as a mouse holding a twelve foot squeeky set of metal steps I cunningly approached the beast from behind. I then took my shoes off and started a slow tippy toe climb up the ladder towards the bird. One thing was for sure I'd either be the King of the Pigeon Trappers or the biggest loser since Napoleon took on Wellington at Waterloo. Step by step I got closer & closer. The silent determination received a sudden jolt as the front door bell rang out and I gained an audience of Night staff wondering why their Manager was half way up a ladder, in his socks and moving at a snails pace, furthermore he was totally ignoring the door bell. Just as I got to the pigeon all that they could see of me now was my feet, they thought I was barking mad. The pigeon was oblivious of my presence, just a foot to go now and I hesitated, gathered my thoughts, run through a rehearsal in my mind of how I'd pounce and made a mental note that they are bony buggers and that I would have to hold it tight. Three, Two, One, GO!   Gotcha. And I did too!  I actually managed to catch a perching pigeon some 15 foot of the ground with my bare hands.

The door bell was now ringing with some impatience, but the look on the Night Crews faces through the window as I came down the ladder was just sublime as they realise I had just caught a pigeon. They thought, apparently, that I had caught it in mid flight, now how cool would that have been?



So anyway the plaster knocked off, the beams were exposed, much debris fell to the ground, including the said mouses nest, beams re-plastered and Bobs your Uncle and Nellies your Aunt!

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