So I headed off to the cesspits with an unhealthy keenness....

I hadn't met these neighbours yet, they had only moved in about 6 months ago and so, feeling a little guilty at not introducing myself previously, I headed off to talk dirty to them. The dirty part being, of course, the blocking of the drains. As I explained in my previous blog (and if you haven't read that one yet may I suggest you do so now) our drains were slowly drowning in their own excrement and for want of a better phrase, 'Trouble was brewing'.

I made a point of NOT being in my chemical warfare suit with my face mask on and carrying my drain rods in their case (which looks a little like a rifle case) as I went to see the neighbours. It may have sent out mixed messages and have been a little unnerving for them when they answered the door I felt.

Anyway, I knocked on their door and introduced myself, I explained the situation and that I was quite willing to try to clear the drains in their manholes. This appeared to be greeted with some appreciation and so I arranged to do it the next day whilst they were out, so as not to turn them too green.

The next day I dressed myself up in the kit, I had that look that could kill, or at least the look of a nutter in camouflage and I headed for the street. We are a one horse town and I did not meet anyone on the way to the neighbours, either there was no one out there or they were all diving for cover before I saw them.

When I got to the neighbours garden I could see 4 manhole covers, two of which I guessed were the redundant Cesspits. Up to the 1980's the house sewerage went through our pipes and into next doors cesspit where the fee for emptying them was shared. Then in 1984, or thereabouts, our village gained it's very own sewerage system Oooooooooo!  So it appears that this was connected by taking a pipe from the cesspits out to the street and away.

So all was grand as no one had to empty any cesspits anymore. Well that is as we understand it. The two manholes that I expected to be part of my problem were, when I lifted them, just 2' deep and clearly only belonged to the neighbours house. My system had to have been at least 5' deep at this point but there were no other manholes, so I headed off to the cesspits with an unhealthy keenness, thinking that I may be able to clear mine directly from one of them.

For those of you that have seen Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark, where they lifted the lid of the Ark and with a little hiss the demons from hell were released, well you'd relate to this experience. I was very glad that I had my face mask on but it was fighting a losing battle against a stale pungent mephitic air (my New Word of the Day).  I flung the cast iron lid back to reveal a glutinous black semi solid sludge with a small stream of something ungodly running through it. The Dictionary defines....

slurry [ˈslʌrɪ]n pl -ries (Chemistry) a suspension of solid particles in a liquid, as in a mixture of cement, clay, coal dust, manure, meat, etc. with water

Yep, that about describes what I was looking at and it was barely 18" below the lawn. This did not look like it was intending to drain away, in fact I rather expected a blobby bubble to slowly develop  and then pop like one of those I had seen in the volcanic fields of Iceland.
Or a creature slowly rise from the murky dark depths just like a black & white Doctor Who episodes monster. That said if anything is alive in there then I'm a Monkeys Uncle.
There was nothing more that I could do so I moved onto the next one.

Again, I lifted the lid, Eeeewwwwwy. And again there was an unwelcome slurry in a tank that appears to be split into two. All the pits are bricked lined and must be very old. There was, and is, nothing further that I can do and so I reluctantly (ha,ha) replaced all the covers and made a tactical withdrawal.

I have found a local company that have quoted £150 per 1,000 litres pumped, what a lovely thought eh? I do hope that you're not a 'breakfast time' reader or you really won't thank me for this will you?

An average pit holds about a 1.000litres of ....   stuff! So this may cost £300 BUT they tell me they will flush-out all the drains too so that should surprise a few rats hopefully.
Now I have to go back to my lovely neighbours and discuss.

As I said on the previous blog I feel this may be the beginning of a long drawn out, expensive saga or who knows the neighbour may agree to half of the cost, the guy will come on time and deal with all the problems. Maybe.... just maybe.




2,892