Do Daleks discuss discourse with a definite defined Dalek dialect dialogue?

One of my guests told me yesterday that he knew he was in Norfolk when he saw a lady stop at the 'Give Way' markings on the side road outside our house. The appearance was that she was about to make a right turn as she was near the centre of the road. Having stopped she undid her safety belt, got out of the car and casually sauntered across the road to the letter box where she then posted a letter before slowly returning to her abandoned vehicle and finally completing her right turn.  .....NFN*

Try doing that in Brent Cross and you'll soon have a lynch mob after you.


It is not that unusual, along our main street, to see two cars driving in opposite directions and as they approach each other slow down eventually coming to a halt and then with windows wound down they have a little chat for a few minutes. The conversation only being terminated when another car approaches the road block, then off they go again. No one beeps their horn, why would they it's NFN.*



We had a stall in the local arts and crafts fair in the village this weekend. A few months back we also had an exhibition of everything arty or crafty that had been produced in the village itself. It was truly amazing how many people had something that they had made and such a vast array of items from a homemade cuckoo clock to wickerwork and even beautiful doll houses. So much talent in such a small village!

~I took some of my photographs along and Alison her quilts. It was an exhibition and not a sale but one of the other exhibitors came across to me at the end and asked how much was the photo of the trawler because he really loved it. I said £10 and he ummed and arrred and said he would be back to buy it later. He never returned and I assumed he thought it too expensive.
   So three or four months later Alison is running our stall at the craft market when he comes back and says once again how much he admires my photo of that trawler and that he will definitely buy it "some time soon". Well I really don't know what else we could do to assist him in this process, He was there, Alison was there, our cash 'float' was there and even the bloody picture was there and I know he had the money because he had been selling things all day. What else could we do?

Once again another typical trait of Norfolk folk, dithering. Very NFN*.



Norfolk local radio isn't anywhere as near as bad as the Alan Partridge character portrays BUT that's not to say that it doesn't have it's moments too. Some time ago, on a Sunday in the car, I tuned in to what appeared to be two old....   very old guys chatting away inanely in very heavy Norfolk accents about the dullest of dull things....

"Wha ye upta 't weekend Jethro?"
(What are your plans for the weekend Jethro?)

"Ooo r'm eading oot on a lang ol' journey t other side of tha couny t pick up a coople of Speckledey Pols". 
(Oh, I am heading out on a long old journey to the other side of the County where I aim to collect a couple of Speckledy [a type of hen] Pols [Point of Laying]).

And so it went on. Alison was getting furious at me because I wouldn't change channels you see it wasn't just a short bit of banter, no far from it, this was the show. It should have been called Two old men that talk about nothing of any importance for two hours. A bit long winded I know but it would do what it said on the box. You know when you go to those rural museums and someone has made it his life's work to record and capture all the old dialects and when you listen you wonder why they bothered because you can hardly understand a word they are saying, well this was like a live one of them.


"Arrr, well Ermine glaaad ye asked meh tharr, arm arff ta get me car waash'd at ... "  (some place unknown to me).
(Ah, well Ermine glad you asked me that, I'm off to get my car washed at.........)

"Oarr, I ear thy do a good jaab thar don't thy, all don by pols by 'and."
(Oh,  I hear that they do a good job there, all done by"......


Well at this point I thought they were going to wash his car by using the said Pols that Jethro was looking to collect from the hen breeder. I envisaged a Croat washing a car with a chicken, then I realised he meant Poles..... as in Polish, you know, people from Poland!....

"all done by 'Poles', by hand.")

Well humour is an odd thing isn't it, very personal. So while I was trying to drive the car in tears of derision Alison found absolutely nothing funny in it at all and just found them irritating to the point of distraction. This ambivalence just served  to make the whole thing that much more funnier to me and in the end the channel was changed.....       I was not consulted :(

Now, talking of Dialeks

So when the chance came recently for myself to irritate half of Norfolk with a personal and fairly boring story I naturally jumped at the chance. I happened to hear a request a few weeks ago on BBC Radio Norfolk for any stories from anyone with a connection to Dr Who over the last 50 years as they wished to share such stories with their listeners over the week of the Doctor Who anniversary.

You had to be prepared to be recorded and heard on air.

Well, I thought, I have gotta be at least as interesting as Jethro and Ermine ANNND perhaps a little more coherent!

And I had a story to tell too.

So dear reader here is the link to my one and only radio appearance. Sadly it doesn't match the two old boys in time as it only lasts 3 minutes or so.

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01lzcpf

Some seek fame and some have fame pushed upon them (Sorry Shakespeare not quite the real quote).

I have no idea how long this clip will be available, perhaps they'll stick my voice in a rural museum as an example of some one who has nothing very much to say. Although they may get a better capture of life in the early 21st Century if they record the mind numbing waffle spewed out by dumb brain dead zombies on their phones on a train.

The producer of this Dr Who documentary can only have been in his late twenties and when I explained that I didn't know which episode they were recording but I remember that Jamie was there (Fraiser Hines) then he immediately, straight off the top of his head said that he could tell me that it was The Evil of the Daleks in 1967 because that was the only time that Jamie appeared with the Daleks.

It was 46 years ago, nearly a 1000 episodes later and about 25 years before he was even born, that has to take geekism to another level!

Even more annoyingly this is one of those series missing some episodes from the BBC archives and me and my brothers systematically destroyed the scripts!!        Oooops.

I've no doubt that we are now on some Whovian {Doctor Who Fans, Sue} HIT LIST......

EXTERMINATE,  EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE,  EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINA.........

*NFN = Normal For Norfolk

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