I on the other hand do a lot of the dreaming, probably too much dreaming if truth be told and I also provide huge reserves of pessimism to balance out Alison's can do approach. I don't see it as a negative thing but more of a check and balance to our future. I just like to know that we have a contingency should we run into difficulties. I am not a big picture thinker, I am more of a tiny little detail thinker! If a fork is not 1" from the edge of the table and laying at 90 degrees to the same edge then I'll become quite agitated and break into a feverish sweat. I also bring to the party my brawn, my limited DIY skills and of course my ability to not get bored doing the cleaning and ironing.
The remain skills are pretty much shared.
So I knew I was being a fool to myself when I encroached on Alison's financial area and decided to find out why one of my credit cards had an issue. I had already checked with my financial guru who was surprised that I not only still had this card but that I was still using it albeit on rare occasions. She naturally was concerned that we were not receiving the statements for the card because as she thought it no longer existed she had not sent a change of our address to them.
Well being told that I had to phone the bank because they won't talk to her about it I made my first mistake in phoning them whilst Alison was out of the house. I was guru-less!
I started by phoning Barclay's, normally getting stuck at the automated voice I was proud of myself when I got past that stage. Then a human came on the line and I gave what I felt was a clear and concise appraisal of my problem. Having listened to my explanation he asked what card type was it and it was at this point I realised that it was not infact a Barclaycard but indeed an HSBC card. I sheepishly pointed this out to him and quietly thanked him for his time before hanging up.
OK let my try this again, I CAN DO THIS! Having found the HSBC number I once again started a call to fix the problems with the card.
I can't stand doing these calls as they always ask me those damned stupid security check questions and as I rarely ever make any calls to the bank I can NEVER remember the stupid things. This time I didn't even get through the automated phone system with the computer throwing a wobbly because I didn't know the third digit of a security number that I made up around the dawn of time when I first opened the bloody account. It proceeded to kick me to a member of staff, they were now trying the human approach.
Oh Lord bless them for they know not what they are encountering.....
I am asked for another digit from my security number, I didn't even remember making up a security number and so I said "PASS" and waited for their next futile attempt to make sure that I was who I said I was.
"OK sir, when you first took out the card you were asked to give a favourite place" Was I indeed? Who aged over 12 years old has a favourite place for crying out loud! When I was a kid I guess it was The Zoo or the circus but I'm 50 something years old now and my favourite place is in my armchair with a nice cup of tea.
I said "PASS".
The nice man explained that he had gone as far as he could and that he would have to pass me on to the next person. I guess the challenge was too much for him.
Man number two started off in good spirits, I could tell that he firmly believed that he could crack this nut a belief, as it turned out, that was misplaced. I explained about my lack of memory of passwords and numbers and he reassured me that we should be fine.
"What did you tell us was your favourite colour?" Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
"I'm sorry I have no idea that I ever told you that I had a favourite colour because the last time I had a favourite colour I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!"
He seemed a little taken aback at this and then he came up with a new wheeze. He asked for one of our other accounts details and then asked.......
"Where did we spend the £40 on Friday just gone?"
Now you'd think that he had bowled a straight ball there but no and alas I hadn't a clue.
Frankly I was trying to work backwards through the week and I could barely remember what I did yesterday!
I struggled & strained to recall where we had gone. I went to the calender but no clues there. I shut my eyes to think but this just made the blankness a darker blanker place. I looked at the car in the yard in case she could magically tell me but nothing.
I even asked the cat but if she did know she was keeping it to herself.
Where the hell did we go, I asked myself, jeez it was just 4 days ago for goodness sakes!!!
"Perhaps your wife could help?" he enquired,
My heckles speedily rising I explained that the guru was out,
"Maybe you could call her" he suggested.
Grrrrrrrr....
Then I thought I knew where we had spent the £40 and I told him it was in Budgen's.
The next man was a woman, I got the feeling that all the stupid ones ended up in her hands. She patiently and, surprisingly without patronising me, explained that I had failed on every test they had chucked my way.
I realised that this was probably the last chance saloon and braced myself accordingly.....
"Can you tell me....." she said with slow clear deliberation in her voice....
"What the phone number is...." I listened attentively,
"That we have as connected to all your accounts?"
You'd think that I would get that one wouldn't you and so at last with a clear heart and safe in the knowledge that I knew my own phone number I rattled it off to her.
I waited like a Peacock with it's feathers in full fan display strutting up and down, knowing that he's the business....
"I'm sorry," she qualified, "but that is incorrect". Instantly my plumage drooped to the floor, I felt as if I had been just two spaces from winning on the snakes and ladder board only to land on that long slinky snake that takes you plummeting back down to the bottom again.
Bugger!
So now I'll have to visit a branch in a bigger town than our local ones to re-set all the security information on my account. They'll ask me for a favourite colour and place so I can have the privilege of forgetting them when in another 3 years time I'm asked once again.
I'm just not cut out for this world of telephone banking. The other day after our landline phone broke down I found that it had run out of guarantee. Well this was odd because I thought that we rented the phone because it was on my monthly bill.
I phoned up BT only to be told that the rental was for the old fashioned dial phone, you'll remember those they are often seen in museums. "Why am I being charged for one of those?" I asked the customer service operative. "Because you never told us that you were no longer using it" she replied.
I explained to her that I stopped using one of those at least 15 years ago and was under the impression that the rental was for all the phones that they have provided since, with the internet hubs etc. She told me that they are free and after a long battle I managed to get a refund for the last 5 years of rental.
Having checked on the internet and indeed BT's own site it is clear that there are probably thousands of people still paying this for a phone that is totally redundant.
I know that I should be better than this but I feel things are moving faster than I can keep up. I get the hang of Messenger then facebook pops up, I just about get the hang of facebook then everyone is Twittering, then they upgrade Facebook and I don't know where it all is. After many years with windows XP everyone else has had Vista, Windows 7 and now 8. People don't talk on the phone anymore they Skype. Why do people want to look at each other while they are on the phone? Go to any tourist attraction and you'll see idiots holding these massive Tablets up to take a photo, no straps to hold it safely and you'd be just as plainly obvious if you stuck a great big day-glo sign on your hat saying mug me I'm a tourist!
Last week I visited my daughter in Somerset and she saw that I had taken my Walkman cassette / Radio with me. "Awwwwe, you still have a Walkman. How quaint, you do know that they went out in the eighties don't you?" But it still works fine and I have all the old cassettes so why should I get rid of it? Next she'll be telling me to get rid of the Betamax Video recorder!
I thought I was on top of all this sort of stuff but I am put in mind of a description by a computer whiz kid regarding Bruce Willis who plays an 'old school' New York Cop in the film Die Hard 4.
He tells the cop,
"You're a Timex watch in a digital age"
and that is just how I feel!
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