Sometimes it is time to paddle your own canoe....

When you have been around for more than half a century (to be precise, in my case, half a century and two days) you begin to get a sense that you have seen it all before. The cynic in me feels inclined to agree with Caius Petronius who, in 66AD said: "We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising: and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress, while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation."And when you begin to get a bit cynical about the fact that you have not only seen it all before but have experienced it all before then it is time to take matters into your own hands and ensure a different ending.

True, that I am again displaced, but had I wanted to stay I would have moved into a less vulnerable role months ago. In previous re-organisations I have always ended up with something better and this time will be no different. I've been researching what else is out there for some months and I'm confident I will be able to find a combination of jobs that will bring a balance to Mike's and my life in deepest Norfolk. So in a few months I will leave the cynics behind and let the optimist in me find a new direction.

Which brings me to the challenge of reaching that half century day. For months the thought of turning 50 was not something I was looking forward to but it has been made much easier with the knowledge that in a few months when my time in the company comes to an end, I can claim my pension, if I wish. The stubborn part of me thinks that as a matter of principle I shouldn't because I don't want to be labelled a pensioner but I will swallow my pride and choose the right financial option.

The family gathered together this weekend to celebrate the event (or to take the opportunity to rub it in!) and surprised me (and some of them!) with a collective present from them all - a two person canoe that Mike and I can use to explore the North Norfolk coast and the Broads, when it eventually stops raining. Thank you all.

So, in every sense, in the last few days and weeks, it has become clear that it is now time for me (with Mike) to paddle my own canoe.